Reviews for Velvet Buzzsaw ( 2019 ) 1080p

Maybe the biggest waste of time, money, and talent ever

By: lempkecoleton
I can't figure out how to describe how awful this is. As far as attempting to be entertaining I'm not sure anyone has ever failed more miserably. This was singlehandedly the biggest waste of time I've personally invested in watching a movie, and that's saying a lot given some of the movies I've seen. How many more Netflix Original flops can they put out before they stop trying? This was not exciting, it didn't keep you invested, it definitely wasn't scary, and I didn't give a hoot about a single character in the entire movie.

Velvet Buzzsaw attempts to create an in depth portrayal of modern art society where we're introduced to an intertwining web of characters who all share different relationships. Aside from their personal relationships they are tied together via their various business relationships in the art world as well. These relationships become more intertwined upon the discovery of an unknown artists work name Dease. Throughout the film a sinister supernatural attachment to the art begins to dispose of these characters who would seek to exploit this work for their own personal profit. In less words it can be described as the biggest snooze fest in recent history. About 30 minutes of the almost 2 hours of runtime serves any purpose aside from satirical stereotypes regarding people who make up these high end modern art communities. I'm by no mean offended by these stereotypes, rather bored to death by their monumental lack of substance. The death scenes aren't scary, there's no tension throughout the movie at all, and the story arc could be better described as a very, very shallow story plateau. The special effects look cheap, and ingenuine, and this doesn't help add any tension or fear to what's meant to be scary. And do I even need to mention the Goliath sized plot holes that have become a staple of Netflix Originals at this point?

The one thing this movie has is loads of talent, aside from Zawe Ashton who played Josephina. I could walk outside, throw a rock, and it would land next to someone who could do as well, if not better than Zawe. Aside from that, Jake Gyllenhaal, Renee Russo, Toni Collette, and even Natalie Dyer show just how well they can truly act. Even in a movie that fails to be any sort of good their talent manages to shine. It's a shame this talent was wasted on an utterly empty story. People who disagree with me will say I didn't understand, or couldn't appreciate the point the movie sought out to make. I understand this film seeks to illustrate that the reduction of art in this society to nickels and dimes ultimately hurts art as a whole, and in turn the people who committed this crime against Dease's work were hurt back. Frankly, I just don't care. If you want the audience to care about this point the film has to be powerful, gripping, or at the very least exciting. This movie is nothing but boring.

Save yourself two hours and pick something else on your watchlist. Take my word that you truly aren't missing anything with seeing. If you choose to ignore this advice I personally guarantee you'll contemplate turning it off before the 40 minute mark. If I didn't set out to make this review I would've turned it off on about 3 separate occasions.3/10 stars for some truly brilliant acting talent.

Great Jake Gyllenhaal

By: arealmuse
If you're a Jake G fan he's nailed this character - good cast, good cinematography - great characters. Always a delight to watch John Malkovich as well.

Hot garage

By: spacegirlsunday
I wish I could give it negative stars. Superstar line up, money backing... Both good starters. Then they decided on the director and cast that Zawe lady and holy cow what a laughable mess of a "movie". I'm embarrassed for the accomplished actors that had to play along with her pathetic attempt at "acting". Could you be more pretentiously stupid? I think not. My God. The only reason it even played out at my house and long as it did was we were enjoying making fun of it. However, it doesn't even have the Tommy Wiseau level fun bad movie kinda vibe. It's so bad that making fun of it isn't even fun after a while. Cut your toe nails. Wash your hair. Pick the dead skin off your feet. These are all better options.

Interesting Premise, Uninteresting Movie

By: fpcholcomb
Simply put Velvet Buzzsaw is a mess. It lacks any genuine horror, comedy, or drama and feels cheap and schlocky, and not in the good b-movie horror way.

This one stung because when I first heard of this film I thought it was right up my alley. The faux intellectualism and aggressive monetization that surrounds the high art world is something worthy of parody, but this movie gets so lost in its message and meanders around several poorly written characters, essentially wasting its interesting premise on a below average, generically shot bit of schlock. It brings nothing to the table and fails to live up to the standards set by its contemporaries and even the directors past work.

The characters presented here are lacking in about every respect. One of the things that really excited me about this movie was the massive amount of talent it employed, but even a lively performance from the likes of Gyllenhaal could not mask the fact that the writing was just not up to snuff. What exposition and backstory we get on this miserable bunch of narcissistic artistes is sparse and told rather than shown through slow interactions within art galleries and avant garde offices. Perhaps it was an artistic choice to paint these characters who leech of the creative works of others as banal but it prevented me from ever getting invested in them. Thus, not only were the inevitable horror scenes that followed the character introductions were completely void of any proper scares or interesting creatures, but they also lacked any proper victims.

Moreover, the editing was choppy and scenes did not always flow logically from one to the other. There was a surprising lack of interesting camera angles or dark and brooding shots that could have been used to cultivate horror in the viewer (with the exception of a scene involving a gas station and monkeys). Velvet Buzzsaw's presentation lacked a certain definitiveness and style that the directors earlier work had possessed. It ends up looking rather uninspired. There was some aggressively unappealing use of green screen too, especially apparent during a waterfront chat between an agent and a up and coming street artist (I can't even remember there names they left so little an impression). The movie looks so fake and cheap, which I suppose in a way fit the character and dialogue quality.

Apart from its blatant ant-art profiteering message the movie seems to translate nothing effectively, and the overall weight of what it tries to say is diminished by its shortcomings. The actor's do what they can here, they are the only redeemable aspect of Velvet Buzzsaw, but an artist is only as good as his or her tools, and they were given very little to work with here.

Definitely Avoid.

If you hurt art, art will hurt you back.

By: Spookylicious
I dived in with an open and curious mind and I've been entertained and had a good time.

It's an eerie story regarding some art pieces that shouldn't have been taken.Whose the perfect victim for a cursed object that kills whoever profits by greed from it?Greedy profesionals from the "chic" art-gallery bussiness.

An artist pours their experience, soul, emotions and illusion into a piece, and when all that is just treated for the "chic" and "popular" value and exploited, without any apreciation on all that's behind, something's wrong.

We see that in different moments from artists that suffer the consequences of these greedy profesionals that don't care about the artist, just about that sweet dolla, and their own reputation and ego.

In a world driven by this kind of behaviour. It's the own art's responsability to put an end to them.

I can clearly see the message Dan Gilroy was transmitting and I loved it and applaud him for it as an artist myself. Thank you.

PD: I read some people saying that the characters don't feel true. And oh my sweet summer children, stay in that place of ignorance, because those kind of people really exist in the "chic" art-exhibit and fashion world. And they are as obnoxious (OR EVEN MORE) as the ones portrayed so well by this great cast of actors.

An interesting art-world satire with horror overtones and a stellar cast.

By: TheTopDawg
An interesting art-world satire with horror overtones and a stellar cast that performed great.

The directing was exceptionally good, with fantastic imagery and creative camera shots.

The concept of the story was well done, as were the S/VFX, but the writing was a little all over the place, choppy and too ambitious with its 113 min run time, although the pacing was decent.

A unique film with excellent performances. Would I recommend it? If you're the artsy type and enjoy horror film. Would I see it again? No.

It's a 7/10 from me.

It had great potential but fell short

By: jeffreycarephotography
The idea in the film is fantastic but didn't seem to dive deep enough into the story and lacks impact. With most of the characters being pretenious, I was overwhelmed with the use of metaphores and foreshadowing, it became expected throughout the film but doesn't hold enough significance. An origin film on Dease would seem more interesting to me after watching this film.

Difficult to explain

By: thomasjay-52277
The trailer in hindsight might've given away a lot of what happens in film but to truly get anything from it you must watch the film itself. A relatively short one at just under 1 hour 50 it manages to put a lot to the audience and develop a grand conspiracy which is actually quite interesting. Sadly a lot of it is glossed over completely after an initial introduction but it still manages to function as a film. A lot of the characters are well created and serve the greater purpose of narrative aid and building the commentary but a lot is fairly forgettable. An interesting message and core meaning it's a fairly decent film which is worth your time

Acting is not enough

By: fmwongmd
Although Jake Gyllenhaal does a good job acting it isn't enough to rescue this uninteresting film.

Well acted nonsense

By: tortoiseman_526
A well acted film with a good cast that is completely wasted on this drivel.

Awful

By: np45764
That's nearly two hours of my life I will never get back. Find it incredibly hard to believe it's managed to get a 6 star rating. It's only a couple of weeks into 2019 and it's definitely topping the list of the worst movie of the year, and will no doubt remain in top spot for the duration.

Boredom

By: sirabister
Disgusting , boring , awful in every aspect .Boring pseudo "art" garbage .DON'T WATCH THIS "ART" .

Quite an accurate satire about modern art world

By: carlosanmartin
I really liked this film, with all these shallow carachters speaking empty words. The greediness and emptiness of the modern art market. It's all there. And at the same time it's quite an effective satirical comedy, horror film and thriller. All those at the same time. Also the actors are great, specially Jake Gyllenhaal, Rene Russo and Toni Collette.

Don't waste your time!

By: alex_427
The worst film you'll watch in 2019.Got sucked in by the great cast. Some of the worst "Horror" I've witnessed, completely unimaginative. I feel like Tori Spelling should have been in this....

What a disappointment

By: cameronspencer94
Oof... This movie is a hot mess. I was looking forward to this after seeing the trailer and having also really enjoyed Gilroy's first film Nightcrawler. But someone dropped the ball on this movie. And honestly, maybe it was the editor.

This movie was cheesy from beginning to end and maybe that was intentional but it surely wasn't executed properly. The characters are the worst (also clearly intentional) but never have a single redeeming moment to be honest. The only times I had fun watching this was for like 2 of the death scenes. The rest of the movie was a drag.

Huh

By: Rendanlovell
After Nightcrawler Dan Gilroy is a figure that I will permanently be interested in. Then came along Roman J Israel which was a frustrating experience. There was a lot of good in it but it seemed to relish being slow and unnecessarily wordy. Now we have Velvet Buzzsaw. A movie so plain, I had absolutely no response to. There is barely enough here to be upset about and nearly nothing to be wowed by. It's just so...bland. You'd think Jake gyllenhaal would be the main character but he isn't. In fact, no one is. It's Totally confused, strangely muddled, and tonally messy. It was almost as if the film was passing through my head as soon as it went in.

Life pro tip: Don't stare at creepy art during sexy times!

By: maccas-56367
This came across as a parody of the pretentious art scene, but somehow took itself too seriously. Take the whole 'Mona Lisa eyes moving' thing and stretch into an almost 2 hour film - complete with the most pretentious dialogue you'll hear since that mature age student piped up to have their say in your University lecture last semester. Imagine a bad pilot episode for a failed HBO show, or some straight-to-video B-grade horror film.

I really love Jake Gyllenhaal. I really love Toni Collette. I really love Zawe Ashton after seeing her in 'Fresh Meat'. But damn, this film just didn't do it for me, despite the incredibly strong Gyllenhaal performance - who is hilariously gleefully camp at every opportunity. It's more of a mess than half the so-called art they're try to sell-off. I kept waiting for some backbone to appear, but it all just seemed too disposable.

John Malkovich was also incredibly under-utilised. The world in which this film is set was more irritating than someone running their nails down a blackboard. Despite its slow-moving pace, I did have a couple of laughs (including a particular death scene). The last half hour went crazy and somehow sucked me in.

Some viewers may love the dark humour in this, or find that watching it makes them somehow feel edgy. I'm betting most reviews will probably just talk about Jake Gyllenhaal's ass or the naughtiest monkeys they've seen since the farting chimpanzee in Ed.

For me, I'm just disappointed at what could've been a really special and impressive film. It also makes me think the "wall of vaginas" at my local art gallery wouldn't be such a bad way to go.

"My furry animal likes to be pet".

Unique but not what I expected

By: trex-54812
Great movie ?? but lacks depth , very very unique story . I would love to see more movies like this

Just disappointed

By: patrick-cesaro
Ok, i'm quite disappointed...There are a few good things here and there but the overall experience is quite bad...I'm giving a 6/10 just because the acting was ok and there was some good shots, but it's sooo close to being a 5/10.

Half Ugly Betty Half Supernatural, All naff

By: donttouchmeprimate
A spooky, suspenseful supernatural thriller, starring megastars Jake Gyllenhaal and John Malkovich ...Is NOT this movie.

I will keep this short and to the point. A large portion of this is tv melodrama and then turns into an Episode of Supernatural - minus Dean and Sammy. "Damn it Sammy" (my best Dean impression there)

But even Jake Gyllenhaal can't fill the shoes of the Winchester in this lame ghost story.

So I guess Carry on my wayward sonFor there'll be peace when you are doneLay your weary head to restDon't you cry no more dun dun, dun dun.