I can't figure out how to describe how awful this is. As far as attempting to be entertaining I'm not sure anyone has ever failed more miserably. This was singlehandedly the biggest waste of time I've personally invested in watching a movie, and that's saying a lot given some of the movies I've seen. How many more Netflix Original flops can they put out before they stop trying? This was not exciting, it didn't keep you invested, it definitely wasn't scary, and I didn't give a hoot about a single character in the entire movie.
Velvet Buzzsaw attempts to create an in depth portrayal of modern art society where we're introduced to an intertwining web of characters who all share different relationships. Aside from their personal relationships they are tied together via their various business relationships in the art world as well. These relationships become more intertwined upon the discovery of an unknown artists work name Dease. Throughout the film a sinister supernatural attachment to the art begins to dispose of these characters who would seek to exploit this work for their own personal profit. In less words it can be described as the biggest snooze fest in recent history. About 30 minutes of the almost 2 hours of runtime serves any purpose aside from satirical stereotypes regarding people who make up these high end modern art communities. I'm by no mean offended by these stereotypes, rather bored to death by their monumental lack of substance. The death scenes aren't scary, there's no tension throughout the movie at all, and the story arc could be better described as a very, very shallow story plateau. The special effects look cheap, and ingenuine, and this doesn't help add any tension or fear to what's meant to be scary. And do I even need to mention the Goliath sized plot holes that have become a staple of Netflix Originals at this point?
The one thing this movie has is loads of talent, aside from Zawe Ashton who played Josephina. I could walk outside, throw a rock, and it would land next to someone who could do as well, if not better than Zawe. Aside from that, Jake Gyllenhaal, Renee Russo, Toni Collette, and even Natalie Dyer show just how well they can truly act. Even in a movie that fails to be any sort of good their talent manages to shine. It's a shame this talent was wasted on an utterly empty story. People who disagree with me will say I didn't understand, or couldn't appreciate the point the movie sought out to make. I understand this film seeks to illustrate that the reduction of art in this society to nickels and dimes ultimately hurts art as a whole, and in turn the people who committed this crime against Dease's work were hurt back. Frankly, I just don't care. If you want the audience to care about this point the film has to be powerful, gripping, or at the very least exciting. This movie is nothing but boring.
Save yourself two hours and pick something else on your watchlist. Take my word that you truly aren't missing anything with seeing. If you choose to ignore this advice I personally guarantee you'll contemplate turning it off before the 40 minute mark. If I didn't set out to make this review I would've turned it off on about 3 separate occasions.3/10 stars for some truly brilliant acting talent.
Maybe the biggest waste of time, money, and talent ever